All for a boy...

People will do a lot of things for love. Selfless, brave, incredible things. Its part of what makes love so wonderful, at least I think so. If it was easy, free, effortless... it would seem trivial and unimpressive.

Some of you know, and some of you don't, but I'm actually a registered nurse. And I worked dang hard for that! In fact, I had already been to school but after I came home from my mission I felt distinctly prompted to go back. I could have gone on for a higher degree. I could have worked more, heavens knows we could have used the money with both Mike & I in school. Any of those things would have made more sense.

All of that in consideration, I went after a nursing degree.

The prerequisite semester was one we now non-affectionately refer to as "the semester from hell". Actually, we always called it that. It was pretty rough, on Mike too. I studied all the time. I took algebra, microbiology, chemistry, anatomy, and a psych class. I probably would have died of anxiety & stress had I not taken all of these classes with my sister and bff, Jenni. Seriously. Want to know something crazy? In my anatomy class I literally got failing scores, multiple times. I am not exaggerating, like 60% on exams. And because it was graded on a curve, I got an A in the class (I always felt bad for all the "curvers" in the class, their scores must have been SO dismal). It was pretty stressful. But knowing that I made the right choice kept me going. I knew I was supposed to be a nurse.

Because of the inflexibility of the combined academic/clinical schedule,  it was hard to find an accommodating job. I had a choice of two jobs that I interviewed for, and took on with less pay. I wasn't sure at the time why, but its what I felt good about.

At the hospital

Right before graduation in 2011 I found out about Beckett. That's a story for another day, but had I not been in the nursing program I would not have been working where I worked. And had I not been there, I would not have found out about my son.
Mike & I were trying to get pregnant. We weren't looking into adoption. But the minute I heard about our birth mom looking for a family I knew he was ours. And as soon as I told Mike that night, he knew it too. And a few short months later, he was in my arms.

One week old

6 months big

I have not worked a single day since he was born. I transferred my license to Georgia, all in the hopes of working someday. But now that I am home with my Beckett & Emma, I wouldn't leave them for anything.
So why did I spend three years of madness going to school? Well, if I hadn't I would have missed out on the little boy with blond curls and big blue eyes. He is my son. I know it. He knows it. Our sweet, wonderful birth mom knows it. This is just how he had to come. Lucky for him too, he got way better skin than Mike or I could have ever hoped to give him. Sorry Emma.

In the end, it was all for a boy. My boy. And I would do it all again and more to have him in my life.

Our weekend together in Utah last month

When it rains

You know the expression "when it rains, it pours"? 

Yes. It does.

Most of the time I love the rain. BUT. Sometimes I am surprised that I get wet, sometimes I am angry. But its rain. Its just water. And that is WHAT RAIN IS. And its a good thing. Why do I sometimes feel like rain, which is just lifesaving water, is out to get me? Usually because I am in a hurry, and I have plans of my own. And I'm feeling inflexible. But there are worse things that could be coming down on me. 
I just have to remember, its just rain. And while it may change my plans, it is always heaven sent.
It's beautiful. It's cleansing. Its renewal.
It's just rain.

Overreacting

Overreacting. At unexpected times, and sometimes for no reason.

Please tell me I am not the only one who does this.

I don't know if its just that my hormones never went back to normal after being pregnant or what...well... Actually. Anyone who knows me, knows better. Its probably that my hormones never went back to normal after they tried to make me a woman at age 12! That seems to be about when it all began. The only logical explanation is hormones. These kind of reactions cannot be normal. Right?

For example. Some people (myself included) laugh until they cry. And some might consider that an overreaction. If only. Sometimes I laugh so hard, I actually cry. Like sob, real tears. I cannot explain why. I have no idea. It is not premeditated, or bubbling beneath the surface. So the other night, Mike and I were talking in bed. And I started thinking about something that made me laugh. Mike laughed too, until I started to laugh uncontrollably. This always makes him nervous, as approximately once a year I really lose it. The odds are I'm just laughing, but he can never be sure.

And then I started to cry. Its the weirdest thing. I was soooo sad. I'm not sure I was thinking about anything in-particular. The first time this happened, Mike tried to pat my head. Yes, you read that right. Pat. My. Head. He is much much wiser now. Now he just holds me and tries not to let me see him laugh (as this always makes it worse).

Other overreactions have included eating things in mass quantities,what some would call an extravagant and ridiculous amount of exclamations, question marks, caps, and faces in my text messages, and lying on the floor.

Seriously.

There has to be a way to get past this right?

OR. Maybe it is normal. Sometimes I just need a good cry. Sometimes life feels intense, and I am just responding accordingly. There are some really fantastic overreactions. Like dance parties, singing out loud, laughing, and saying screaming with joy. So its not all bad.

I still just can't decide if its normal. Perhaps only time will tell. Who knows.

 

Christmas Kickoff

First- a quick catch up

 Thanksgiving was awesome. 

We got four straight days with Mike and we savored every single one.

The weather was beautiful, and we had a fabulous feast. It was hard to catch any of it in pictures because we were too busy enjoying it!

While it may have been hard to stop and take a picture, it was more than memorable. Family time like this is a rare and precious thing and I love it more than anything. 

There are little moments so dear to my heart I can't even find words for them.

 Like when I catch Mike reading to our munchkins.

It means the world to me. 

 

 AND NOW, ON TO THE CHRISTMAS FESTIVITIES!

Saturday, December 1 began with the Lilburn Christmas Parade. We had no idea there was such a thing until about an hour before, and fortunately a good friend let us in on the excitement! Its the first time we had ever taken the kids to a parade, and they absolutely loved it! It was the perfect way to kick off the day.

That was followed by naps for all, except for Mike (who was busy watching football). Ahhh. :)

Then I made cookies. I'm not usually a cookie girl, but I really wanted snickerdoodle dough. And by the way it was delicious! The cookies were not. I am sure its our oven. Seriously. We haven't had a single batch of cookies turn out since we moved here, and we have made several attempts. Mike and are both pretty good in the kitchen. It has to be the oven.

Then we set up our Christmas tree, stockings, and decor. Beckett and Emma were very helpful, and are especially enthralled by the lights. We did select "random twinkling lights", and I can now officially verify that they are surprising, and twinkly. I think we made the right choice. 

A football game, hamburgers & fries were next. Every time we yell "touchdown" Beckett and Emma throw their arms in the air! Its pretty much my favorite part of the game... I am still relatively new to football so Mike is teaching me everything he knows. And I'll tell you what, he knows a LOT. Whew. It was actually a great game.

Now, I know some of you already have your shopping done, and the house decked the day after Thanksgiving. And that is just so cool. Its actually one of my goals for next year, to be better at Christmas/Holidays. But as for this year, for us, we are already on a roll- and its been fun!

First suckers- YUM (also VERY messy :)

Parade necklace

Watching puppies with Dad

So sunny! We started with jackets, but it was just so warm!

Lilburn at its finest :)

Avoiding the wet wipe so as to enjoy this sucker all day....

The face of resistance

Toddler Anatomy

There are lots of things nobody tells you about being a parent. 

Off the top of my head there are a few things that come right to the forefront. For example, what kinds of things should you have on hand when you bring home a new baby? Did anybody mention "Shout"? Because stain remover is a must. I mean, have it in stock before you walk through the door. Or bibs, somebody forgot to mention that even this new faux velcro will wreak havoc on your no-show socks and undies. Ahhhh! And its not even real Velcro (seriously, when it comes to bibs get the ones with snaps. so worth it).

Not that it really matters, you live and learn. But I have been compiling a list of things I wish I had known so that when we have another one I'm ready. Its amazing how quickly you forget. Of course, there is that sleep deprivation factor... 

But anyway, back to the matter at hand. Anatomy. Don't be fooled by my mommyness. I'm a nurse. I may whip out some technical terms, so brace yourself. 

B is really into naming things lately. Head to toe, wall to wall, he wants to know what everything is. Its been really fun, and of course sometimes I make stuff up. It never really mattered, until now. Now when I say something incorrect he is listening, and remembering. For example, I called his belly button his "beep-beep", and every time he or I touched it I would make a crazy face and honk. Now if I call it anything other than "beep-beep" he says no and adamantly shakes his head. He will continue to repeat "that" and point at his adorable little innie until I honk and get silly. 

Baby parts are just cuter than adult parts. I say that as a fact and a statement. I hate feet, but oh man I snack on chubby little toes every chance I get around here! Need to wipe a bottom? No problem because they are tiny and soft and super cute too!

Because they are cuter and somehow more innocent, I cannot bring myself to say "penis" when B explores his southern attachment. What a gross word. Seriously. It's as bad as the female vagina. EWWWWW! 

Mike and I have discussed this. And we came up with nothing. We both voted no on: junk, weener, dingy, and every other crude term out there. I think my mom used "pee-pee" for my brothers, and that is probably my preference. But Mike claims that somehow that makes "it" sound small- although I am pretty sure size is not an issue for those who poop their pants. Just my opinion though. 

Are we really going to be "that" family? I babysat for a doctor's family when I was younger. While normal kids were pooping, these children had "BM's". (I will be honest, at first I had no idea what a BM was, or that that meant "take me to the bathroom fast"!) They didn't have bellies, they had an abdomen. Of course I know about about breasts, and derrieres, and navels. But we prefer boobies, and bums, and beep-beeps. There is also "that" other family, the one with the super crude kids. Sometimes its cute the first time a kids says something crazy, but I just don't find dirty mouth kids adorable. We want to be somewhere in the middle. Again, just our opinion. To each their own. 

What is really nuts about all this is how much responsibility you have as a parent. The other day Emma and I were finishing off the batter from a bowl of brownies and I licked my finger. Very deliberately, and with nothing on her finger, Emma licked her finger too. We locked eyes. I touched my nose, she did the same. And it hit me, she is watching my every move. How I react when I am mad, or tired, or happy. They hear all the words I say, even the ones I shouldn't be saying at all. 

Raising happy, healthy kids is serious business. Fun, exciting, sometimes tedious, but it is no joke. Its pushing me to be a better person, in every way. From eating fresh fruits and veggies every day so that they will, to watching my tongue, I am learning to be better and hoping they will turn out alright.

Like I said, no one can really prepare you to be a parent. But a safe bet is to start with yourself, hope all you have that is good, and kind, and wonderful will rub off. So it makes sense that the better you are the more good will rub off, right? Have I mentioned lately how much I love being a mom? It is literally the best1 I can honestly say I am happiest when I am with Mike and our kids. I love it!

May you all have the most thankful of turkey days, and feast until you are pleasantly (not overly) full (that is our goal). Happy turkey, sweet potato, and pumpkin festivities to you all! And as busy as this season gets, may you still find time to serve. I am so very thankful for all of you who have lifted my spirits with your endless kindness, and I hope I can pass it on so someone who needs it as much as I did. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Top 5 "Savers" for November

 Have you ever had days, or months, or maybe even years where you are so busy you don't even have time to check off your to do list? I have (and I'm starting to think it doesn't slow down, ever). Anyway, in the last few years I've picked up a few tricks that have really helped save time/money so I thought I'd share a few. 

There are several, but I have lots to do during naptime today, so 5 it is :)
 And I'd be lying if I didn't admit I'm hoping you guys will share some of your "must have" time/money/energy tips with me!!!! Pretty please!!

5) BREAKFAST is the most important meal of the day. You have to have it. ESPECIALLY if you are nursing!! Even if you are not, it is better for your metabolism (which means weight ladies) and will boost your energy for the rest of the day. Now, I am not saying everything you eat must be a perfectly balanced meal, nor am I saying these shakes are. But I am saying they are cheap, fast, and they get you what you need. I also like Carnation breakfast packets.The point is, sometimes mornings are crazy and taking care of yourself gets last priority. I have had mornings where even downing a shake felt selfish, and it literally took me one minute. Anything longer just wouldn't have happened. I don't use these every morning, but I always have them ready in the fridge. And bonus, my diaper bag is insulated so I can take one on the go for a meal replacement as needed. Its worth it!



4)No More Ironing. EVER. We have an iron, and a mini board, but we don't even own a full size ironing board. Mike is in a dress shirt every day, and while I try to get clothes out of the dry fast I would be lying if I didn't admit there have been days clothes waited in a basket. I'm working on it. 
BUT, all you have to do is give your clothes a good mist with a squirt bottle the night before, shake out (give them a good shake), and hang to dry overnight. Your man will look so sharp (and your don't have to play Cinderella. Who would ever want to play her? Even for Halloween...?)
IF you need a small touch up, on a collar, cuff, or down the front, I use my hair straighter. True story. Works like a charm.  



3)Hair removal. For the record, ARMPITS are the WORST! However, I've had this for 1.5 years and it totally rocks. I only use it every 2-3 weeks and need nothing in between. The first few times you use it you may want to die. I won't sugar coat it, you are ripping your hair out so yeah, it hurts. BUT, its NEVER grown back all the way. And it doesn't hurt at all now. To give you a scale, its more painful than tweezing (because its more at a time), but less painful that a bikini wax (a story for later). Three reasons to use this: 1) You will save time in the shower every day. 2) Saves money on razors and gel, and its rechargeable. 3) You'll be hairless and happy. Ode to Joy.  Just in case you have ever had a moment of impromptu romance and decided against it because you felt the underarm forrest was perhaps a turn off for all- problem solved. 



2)Crock Pot or slow cooker. Your new best friend. The end of the day is when my munchkins are the most likely to be cranky, and that is right when I am trying to clean up and make dinner. Enter, the lifesaving timesaving crockpot. I think I am going to to a whole entry soon on my fastest most favorite dinners. Our latest favorites include chicken cordon bleu, lasagna, stroganoff, and shredded pork. Example: Kids take naps, I fix dinner, and we spend the afternoon at the park having fun (or running errands). We come home, house smells great and Mike walks in to a delicious meal and I'm happy because I am, for once, domestic goddess. And it feels good. And then tastes good
 

1)Hair care. Mike likes long hair. And something  

about my face just looks enormous with short hair. SO, long, wavy, crazy hair it is. But I've changed my routine in the last two years, and my hair is healthier, longer, and softer than ever before. (No, Garnier hasn't called yet, but oh well. As if I have time to be a hair model, emphasis "as if" ;) Anyway the trick is to only wash it every 4-5 days. I used to wash it every other, but that strips your hair of all the healthy oils it needs. It takes a little while to get your hair used to washing it less, but its so worth it. Buy a good shower cap (and by good, I mean the cheapest walmart one will do just fine), and some dry shampoo or baby powder (I've used both and they were equally effective. Baby powder is cheaper and you can get cute little travel sized ones :)  Just wean your hair one day at a time. My hair is used to it now, so I only use baby powder on rare occasion, but at first I used it every 3 days or so to touch up any oily spots. I don't heat style my hair at all in between washings, so total time on my hair is 16 min (8 min to dry, 8 to curl/straighten) every 4 days, or 4 min/day. And my hair is always done. Its not amazing, but its wasn't amazing when I washed it every other day. Some day. Some day I know my bangs will learn to behave and my hair will stop trying to curl. I guess the grass is always greener on someone elses head.

(PS: for long hair, I recommend the Jilbere ceramic mega vent brush. Its as big as your head and will dry your hair in no time, even with a cheapo hair dryer. I've had mine for about 7 years and its still great)

The Day I Was 2

Sorry its been a while, Mike's birthday was last week, so obviously I was very busy...all week. Also, I worked out on Monday, Jillian's 20 min shred (although I only did 18 minutes of it because the kids insisted on a snack during round 3) and I was sore for three days. So I was too tired to write...nah. I'll stick with Mike's birthday excuse. Although it is true that I was sore that long. Moving on!

A more appropriate title for today might have been:

The Compilation of Ways in which I Have Acted Like a Two Year Old Lately.

But. I thought that was a little long. And it is possibly true I have acted like a two year old in many ways in the same day, so I went for the probably just as true shorter version. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me back up to this morning.

It began much like every other day. A frantic rush for everyone to get fed. Mike is the only one in the family who is not big into eating right away, he likes to be up for a while first. Not the rest of us. Breakfast in bed would be sufficiently fast. 

Next came diaper changing. Of course while I was changing Emma I was being super hilarious and made her laugh so hard she peed. After I got one diaper off, and before I could get another one on. Perfect timing. 

Then some story time (see our Facebook for today's video of that), quick FB check while I was on, more stories, and then more breakfast. Like I said, big breakfast eaters. 

While I was getting them dressed for the day, they threw their clothes around the room. And while I picked that up they managed to get the bathroom door open (it closes but never quite all the way), throw Mike's shoe supports in the toilet, and take an elbow bath in the pot. Lest you think me neglectful, the total time elapsed here is about 2 minutes. Maybe less. 

When I discovered their shenanigans, I cleaned it up, closed the door, and threw myself on the bed. Which caused both munchkins to throw themselves on the floor and pout that they weren't getting any attention. I looked and them, sprawled out preparing for a tantrum and hollered "No! Its my turn to throw a fit"! That was the moment I knew I was two. 

Now that I knew I was as two as my actual toddlers, I took a moment to reflect. And this was the shocker that came to light: I guess I'm a baby. Here's the list:

 

Someone better feed me face

I RACE to my breakfast. Like, can't function or be nice until I am fed. Its serious.

 

I snack during church. This is serious too.  


I always pack a snack. Okay. I eat all the time. I'd say about every three hours. Like my toddlers. ah.

 


 


 I love naps. Love them. I'm not into sleeping in- but I'll take a nap any day! I also really love to cuddle. And sleep on Mike. Yup, near is great, but if he can watch football I'll sleep on his lap just like the kids. That they may have learned from me :)

Waiting at the door

When Mike comes home I run for the door I'm so excited to see him. There are three of us running for him, and he only has two arms so its nice that my legs are the longest. :)

When Mike gets on his phone, I climb on his lap and situate myself strategically between his face and the phone to ensure 100% of his attention. The kids do this to me all the time. I think they taught me to do this. I'm pretty sure they didn't learn it from me. 

 

I like to move it move it. They won.

I pee my pants (just a little) when I'm really laughing or jumping. Oh gee.   

I want to use the computer. We all do. Its competitive. Who will win? Will it be pinterest and house-hunting, or "I like to move it move it" and "I like the flowers (youtube videos they love to dance to)"? 

Enthusiastic eaters

 

I bumped my head the other day on an open cupboard and slammed it shut and yelled. Just like Beckett. 

I got food on my face trying to eat a jar of nutella and pretzels as fast as I could. 

 

I like to eat things that are not good for me. (See above).
To my credit, I did tell Mike he should hide the nutella. And he didn't. So...blame should be at least 50/50 I think.

I cried on Saturday when I didn't get what I wanted. Which was unreasonable, because I wanted a million dollars. 




 
I like to try to fit into things that are too small. Although I think they like it more. But still, its always worth  a shot. Right?

Sometimes I stomp my feet. I cannot seem to stop. I really try, on account of it is a tad embarrassing. 










Seriously. 
Who hasn't. Don't lie.

And you know what. Sometimes I throw my clothes on the floor. Just because. Its somewhat satisfying. I kind of like it. At least until I have to pick them up. 





Anyway. All said, I guess its kind of fun to be two. And perhaps I'll have a little more empathy in the upcoming years of my life that we have toddlers around. I mean, how frustrated would you be if no one could understand you? That's how I felt when I first got to France on my mission. And why on earth wouldn't you want to roll in the leaves and eat books (Emma ate the lily pad out of our panda peek a boo book. bummer). I guess I'm more like my kids than I thought. 

On the other hand. They are watching everything we do all the time, and they are a lot more like us than you might think. They kind of amaze me already, they are so smart! 

I guess that means the average age in our home is fourteen. Mmm. 

But, I hear the munchkins getting up from a nap, and I'm as excited to get to the park as they are so au revoir!
 
(Dear Mike. I'm sorry. I'll grow up. Thank you for being patient with me. I love you. Love, me)