Toddler Anatomy

There are lots of things nobody tells you about being a parent. 

Off the top of my head there are a few things that come right to the forefront. For example, what kinds of things should you have on hand when you bring home a new baby? Did anybody mention "Shout"? Because stain remover is a must. I mean, have it in stock before you walk through the door. Or bibs, somebody forgot to mention that even this new faux velcro will wreak havoc on your no-show socks and undies. Ahhhh! And its not even real Velcro (seriously, when it comes to bibs get the ones with snaps. so worth it).

Not that it really matters, you live and learn. But I have been compiling a list of things I wish I had known so that when we have another one I'm ready. Its amazing how quickly you forget. Of course, there is that sleep deprivation factor... 

But anyway, back to the matter at hand. Anatomy. Don't be fooled by my mommyness. I'm a nurse. I may whip out some technical terms, so brace yourself. 

B is really into naming things lately. Head to toe, wall to wall, he wants to know what everything is. Its been really fun, and of course sometimes I make stuff up. It never really mattered, until now. Now when I say something incorrect he is listening, and remembering. For example, I called his belly button his "beep-beep", and every time he or I touched it I would make a crazy face and honk. Now if I call it anything other than "beep-beep" he says no and adamantly shakes his head. He will continue to repeat "that" and point at his adorable little innie until I honk and get silly. 

Baby parts are just cuter than adult parts. I say that as a fact and a statement. I hate feet, but oh man I snack on chubby little toes every chance I get around here! Need to wipe a bottom? No problem because they are tiny and soft and super cute too!

Because they are cuter and somehow more innocent, I cannot bring myself to say "penis" when B explores his southern attachment. What a gross word. Seriously. It's as bad as the female vagina. EWWWWW! 

Mike and I have discussed this. And we came up with nothing. We both voted no on: junk, weener, dingy, and every other crude term out there. I think my mom used "pee-pee" for my brothers, and that is probably my preference. But Mike claims that somehow that makes "it" sound small- although I am pretty sure size is not an issue for those who poop their pants. Just my opinion though. 

Are we really going to be "that" family? I babysat for a doctor's family when I was younger. While normal kids were pooping, these children had "BM's". (I will be honest, at first I had no idea what a BM was, or that that meant "take me to the bathroom fast"!) They didn't have bellies, they had an abdomen. Of course I know about about breasts, and derrieres, and navels. But we prefer boobies, and bums, and beep-beeps. There is also "that" other family, the one with the super crude kids. Sometimes its cute the first time a kids says something crazy, but I just don't find dirty mouth kids adorable. We want to be somewhere in the middle. Again, just our opinion. To each their own. 

What is really nuts about all this is how much responsibility you have as a parent. The other day Emma and I were finishing off the batter from a bowl of brownies and I licked my finger. Very deliberately, and with nothing on her finger, Emma licked her finger too. We locked eyes. I touched my nose, she did the same. And it hit me, she is watching my every move. How I react when I am mad, or tired, or happy. They hear all the words I say, even the ones I shouldn't be saying at all. 

Raising happy, healthy kids is serious business. Fun, exciting, sometimes tedious, but it is no joke. Its pushing me to be a better person, in every way. From eating fresh fruits and veggies every day so that they will, to watching my tongue, I am learning to be better and hoping they will turn out alright.

Like I said, no one can really prepare you to be a parent. But a safe bet is to start with yourself, hope all you have that is good, and kind, and wonderful will rub off. So it makes sense that the better you are the more good will rub off, right? Have I mentioned lately how much I love being a mom? It is literally the best1 I can honestly say I am happiest when I am with Mike and our kids. I love it!

May you all have the most thankful of turkey days, and feast until you are pleasantly (not overly) full (that is our goal). Happy turkey, sweet potato, and pumpkin festivities to you all! And as busy as this season gets, may you still find time to serve. I am so very thankful for all of you who have lifted my spirits with your endless kindness, and I hope I can pass it on so someone who needs it as much as I did. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Top 5 "Savers" for November

 Have you ever had days, or months, or maybe even years where you are so busy you don't even have time to check off your to do list? I have (and I'm starting to think it doesn't slow down, ever). Anyway, in the last few years I've picked up a few tricks that have really helped save time/money so I thought I'd share a few. 

There are several, but I have lots to do during naptime today, so 5 it is :)
 And I'd be lying if I didn't admit I'm hoping you guys will share some of your "must have" time/money/energy tips with me!!!! Pretty please!!

5) BREAKFAST is the most important meal of the day. You have to have it. ESPECIALLY if you are nursing!! Even if you are not, it is better for your metabolism (which means weight ladies) and will boost your energy for the rest of the day. Now, I am not saying everything you eat must be a perfectly balanced meal, nor am I saying these shakes are. But I am saying they are cheap, fast, and they get you what you need. I also like Carnation breakfast packets.The point is, sometimes mornings are crazy and taking care of yourself gets last priority. I have had mornings where even downing a shake felt selfish, and it literally took me one minute. Anything longer just wouldn't have happened. I don't use these every morning, but I always have them ready in the fridge. And bonus, my diaper bag is insulated so I can take one on the go for a meal replacement as needed. Its worth it!



4)No More Ironing. EVER. We have an iron, and a mini board, but we don't even own a full size ironing board. Mike is in a dress shirt every day, and while I try to get clothes out of the dry fast I would be lying if I didn't admit there have been days clothes waited in a basket. I'm working on it. 
BUT, all you have to do is give your clothes a good mist with a squirt bottle the night before, shake out (give them a good shake), and hang to dry overnight. Your man will look so sharp (and your don't have to play Cinderella. Who would ever want to play her? Even for Halloween...?)
IF you need a small touch up, on a collar, cuff, or down the front, I use my hair straighter. True story. Works like a charm.  



3)Hair removal. For the record, ARMPITS are the WORST! However, I've had this for 1.5 years and it totally rocks. I only use it every 2-3 weeks and need nothing in between. The first few times you use it you may want to die. I won't sugar coat it, you are ripping your hair out so yeah, it hurts. BUT, its NEVER grown back all the way. And it doesn't hurt at all now. To give you a scale, its more painful than tweezing (because its more at a time), but less painful that a bikini wax (a story for later). Three reasons to use this: 1) You will save time in the shower every day. 2) Saves money on razors and gel, and its rechargeable. 3) You'll be hairless and happy. Ode to Joy.  Just in case you have ever had a moment of impromptu romance and decided against it because you felt the underarm forrest was perhaps a turn off for all- problem solved. 



2)Crock Pot or slow cooker. Your new best friend. The end of the day is when my munchkins are the most likely to be cranky, and that is right when I am trying to clean up and make dinner. Enter, the lifesaving timesaving crockpot. I think I am going to to a whole entry soon on my fastest most favorite dinners. Our latest favorites include chicken cordon bleu, lasagna, stroganoff, and shredded pork. Example: Kids take naps, I fix dinner, and we spend the afternoon at the park having fun (or running errands). We come home, house smells great and Mike walks in to a delicious meal and I'm happy because I am, for once, domestic goddess. And it feels good. And then tastes good
 

1)Hair care. Mike likes long hair. And something  

about my face just looks enormous with short hair. SO, long, wavy, crazy hair it is. But I've changed my routine in the last two years, and my hair is healthier, longer, and softer than ever before. (No, Garnier hasn't called yet, but oh well. As if I have time to be a hair model, emphasis "as if" ;) Anyway the trick is to only wash it every 4-5 days. I used to wash it every other, but that strips your hair of all the healthy oils it needs. It takes a little while to get your hair used to washing it less, but its so worth it. Buy a good shower cap (and by good, I mean the cheapest walmart one will do just fine), and some dry shampoo or baby powder (I've used both and they were equally effective. Baby powder is cheaper and you can get cute little travel sized ones :)  Just wean your hair one day at a time. My hair is used to it now, so I only use baby powder on rare occasion, but at first I used it every 3 days or so to touch up any oily spots. I don't heat style my hair at all in between washings, so total time on my hair is 16 min (8 min to dry, 8 to curl/straighten) every 4 days, or 4 min/day. And my hair is always done. Its not amazing, but its wasn't amazing when I washed it every other day. Some day. Some day I know my bangs will learn to behave and my hair will stop trying to curl. I guess the grass is always greener on someone elses head.

(PS: for long hair, I recommend the Jilbere ceramic mega vent brush. Its as big as your head and will dry your hair in no time, even with a cheapo hair dryer. I've had mine for about 7 years and its still great)