All for a boy...

People will do a lot of things for love. Selfless, brave, incredible things. Its part of what makes love so wonderful, at least I think so. If it was easy, free, effortless... it would seem trivial and unimpressive.

Some of you know, and some of you don't, but I'm actually a registered nurse. And I worked dang hard for that! In fact, I had already been to school but after I came home from my mission I felt distinctly prompted to go back. I could have gone on for a higher degree. I could have worked more, heavens knows we could have used the money with both Mike & I in school. Any of those things would have made more sense.

All of that in consideration, I went after a nursing degree.

The prerequisite semester was one we now non-affectionately refer to as "the semester from hell". Actually, we always called it that. It was pretty rough, on Mike too. I studied all the time. I took algebra, microbiology, chemistry, anatomy, and a psych class. I probably would have died of anxiety & stress had I not taken all of these classes with my sister and bff, Jenni. Seriously. Want to know something crazy? In my anatomy class I literally got failing scores, multiple times. I am not exaggerating, like 60% on exams. And because it was graded on a curve, I got an A in the class (I always felt bad for all the "curvers" in the class, their scores must have been SO dismal). It was pretty stressful. But knowing that I made the right choice kept me going. I knew I was supposed to be a nurse.

Because of the inflexibility of the combined academic/clinical schedule,  it was hard to find an accommodating job. I had a choice of two jobs that I interviewed for, and took on with less pay. I wasn't sure at the time why, but its what I felt good about.

At the hospital

Right before graduation in 2011 I found out about Beckett. That's a story for another day, but had I not been in the nursing program I would not have been working where I worked. And had I not been there, I would not have found out about my son.
Mike & I were trying to get pregnant. We weren't looking into adoption. But the minute I heard about our birth mom looking for a family I knew he was ours. And as soon as I told Mike that night, he knew it too. And a few short months later, he was in my arms.

One week old

6 months big

I have not worked a single day since he was born. I transferred my license to Georgia, all in the hopes of working someday. But now that I am home with my Beckett & Emma, I wouldn't leave them for anything.
So why did I spend three years of madness going to school? Well, if I hadn't I would have missed out on the little boy with blond curls and big blue eyes. He is my son. I know it. He knows it. Our sweet, wonderful birth mom knows it. This is just how he had to come. Lucky for him too, he got way better skin than Mike or I could have ever hoped to give him. Sorry Emma.

In the end, it was all for a boy. My boy. And I would do it all again and more to have him in my life.

Our weekend together in Utah last month

When it rains

You know the expression "when it rains, it pours"? 

Yes. It does.

Most of the time I love the rain. BUT. Sometimes I am surprised that I get wet, sometimes I am angry. But its rain. Its just water. And that is WHAT RAIN IS. And its a good thing. Why do I sometimes feel like rain, which is just lifesaving water, is out to get me? Usually because I am in a hurry, and I have plans of my own. And I'm feeling inflexible. But there are worse things that could be coming down on me. 
I just have to remember, its just rain. And while it may change my plans, it is always heaven sent.
It's beautiful. It's cleansing. Its renewal.
It's just rain.