Toddler Anatomy

There are lots of things nobody tells you about being a parent. 

Off the top of my head there are a few things that come right to the forefront. For example, what kinds of things should you have on hand when you bring home a new baby? Did anybody mention "Shout"? Because stain remover is a must. I mean, have it in stock before you walk through the door. Or bibs, somebody forgot to mention that even this new faux velcro will wreak havoc on your no-show socks and undies. Ahhhh! And its not even real Velcro (seriously, when it comes to bibs get the ones with snaps. so worth it).

Not that it really matters, you live and learn. But I have been compiling a list of things I wish I had known so that when we have another one I'm ready. Its amazing how quickly you forget. Of course, there is that sleep deprivation factor... 

But anyway, back to the matter at hand. Anatomy. Don't be fooled by my mommyness. I'm a nurse. I may whip out some technical terms, so brace yourself. 

B is really into naming things lately. Head to toe, wall to wall, he wants to know what everything is. Its been really fun, and of course sometimes I make stuff up. It never really mattered, until now. Now when I say something incorrect he is listening, and remembering. For example, I called his belly button his "beep-beep", and every time he or I touched it I would make a crazy face and honk. Now if I call it anything other than "beep-beep" he says no and adamantly shakes his head. He will continue to repeat "that" and point at his adorable little innie until I honk and get silly. 

Baby parts are just cuter than adult parts. I say that as a fact and a statement. I hate feet, but oh man I snack on chubby little toes every chance I get around here! Need to wipe a bottom? No problem because they are tiny and soft and super cute too!

Because they are cuter and somehow more innocent, I cannot bring myself to say "penis" when B explores his southern attachment. What a gross word. Seriously. It's as bad as the female vagina. EWWWWW! 

Mike and I have discussed this. And we came up with nothing. We both voted no on: junk, weener, dingy, and every other crude term out there. I think my mom used "pee-pee" for my brothers, and that is probably my preference. But Mike claims that somehow that makes "it" sound small- although I am pretty sure size is not an issue for those who poop their pants. Just my opinion though. 

Are we really going to be "that" family? I babysat for a doctor's family when I was younger. While normal kids were pooping, these children had "BM's". (I will be honest, at first I had no idea what a BM was, or that that meant "take me to the bathroom fast"!) They didn't have bellies, they had an abdomen. Of course I know about about breasts, and derrieres, and navels. But we prefer boobies, and bums, and beep-beeps. There is also "that" other family, the one with the super crude kids. Sometimes its cute the first time a kids says something crazy, but I just don't find dirty mouth kids adorable. We want to be somewhere in the middle. Again, just our opinion. To each their own. 

What is really nuts about all this is how much responsibility you have as a parent. The other day Emma and I were finishing off the batter from a bowl of brownies and I licked my finger. Very deliberately, and with nothing on her finger, Emma licked her finger too. We locked eyes. I touched my nose, she did the same. And it hit me, she is watching my every move. How I react when I am mad, or tired, or happy. They hear all the words I say, even the ones I shouldn't be saying at all. 

Raising happy, healthy kids is serious business. Fun, exciting, sometimes tedious, but it is no joke. Its pushing me to be a better person, in every way. From eating fresh fruits and veggies every day so that they will, to watching my tongue, I am learning to be better and hoping they will turn out alright.

Like I said, no one can really prepare you to be a parent. But a safe bet is to start with yourself, hope all you have that is good, and kind, and wonderful will rub off. So it makes sense that the better you are the more good will rub off, right? Have I mentioned lately how much I love being a mom? It is literally the best1 I can honestly say I am happiest when I am with Mike and our kids. I love it!

May you all have the most thankful of turkey days, and feast until you are pleasantly (not overly) full (that is our goal). Happy turkey, sweet potato, and pumpkin festivities to you all! And as busy as this season gets, may you still find time to serve. I am so very thankful for all of you who have lifted my spirits with your endless kindness, and I hope I can pass it on so someone who needs it as much as I did. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!