The Day I Was 2

Sorry its been a while, Mike's birthday was last week, so obviously I was very busy...all week. Also, I worked out on Monday, Jillian's 20 min shred (although I only did 18 minutes of it because the kids insisted on a snack during round 3) and I was sore for three days. So I was too tired to write...nah. I'll stick with Mike's birthday excuse. Although it is true that I was sore that long. Moving on!

A more appropriate title for today might have been:

The Compilation of Ways in which I Have Acted Like a Two Year Old Lately.

But. I thought that was a little long. And it is possibly true I have acted like a two year old in many ways in the same day, so I went for the probably just as true shorter version. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me back up to this morning.

It began much like every other day. A frantic rush for everyone to get fed. Mike is the only one in the family who is not big into eating right away, he likes to be up for a while first. Not the rest of us. Breakfast in bed would be sufficiently fast. 

Next came diaper changing. Of course while I was changing Emma I was being super hilarious and made her laugh so hard she peed. After I got one diaper off, and before I could get another one on. Perfect timing. 

Then some story time (see our Facebook for today's video of that), quick FB check while I was on, more stories, and then more breakfast. Like I said, big breakfast eaters. 

While I was getting them dressed for the day, they threw their clothes around the room. And while I picked that up they managed to get the bathroom door open (it closes but never quite all the way), throw Mike's shoe supports in the toilet, and take an elbow bath in the pot. Lest you think me neglectful, the total time elapsed here is about 2 minutes. Maybe less. 

When I discovered their shenanigans, I cleaned it up, closed the door, and threw myself on the bed. Which caused both munchkins to throw themselves on the floor and pout that they weren't getting any attention. I looked and them, sprawled out preparing for a tantrum and hollered "No! Its my turn to throw a fit"! That was the moment I knew I was two. 

Now that I knew I was as two as my actual toddlers, I took a moment to reflect. And this was the shocker that came to light: I guess I'm a baby. Here's the list:

 

Someone better feed me face

I RACE to my breakfast. Like, can't function or be nice until I am fed. Its serious.

 

I snack during church. This is serious too.  


I always pack a snack. Okay. I eat all the time. I'd say about every three hours. Like my toddlers. ah.

 


 


 I love naps. Love them. I'm not into sleeping in- but I'll take a nap any day! I also really love to cuddle. And sleep on Mike. Yup, near is great, but if he can watch football I'll sleep on his lap just like the kids. That they may have learned from me :)

Waiting at the door

When Mike comes home I run for the door I'm so excited to see him. There are three of us running for him, and he only has two arms so its nice that my legs are the longest. :)

When Mike gets on his phone, I climb on his lap and situate myself strategically between his face and the phone to ensure 100% of his attention. The kids do this to me all the time. I think they taught me to do this. I'm pretty sure they didn't learn it from me. 

 

I like to move it move it. They won.

I pee my pants (just a little) when I'm really laughing or jumping. Oh gee.   

I want to use the computer. We all do. Its competitive. Who will win? Will it be pinterest and house-hunting, or "I like to move it move it" and "I like the flowers (youtube videos they love to dance to)"? 

Enthusiastic eaters

 

I bumped my head the other day on an open cupboard and slammed it shut and yelled. Just like Beckett. 

I got food on my face trying to eat a jar of nutella and pretzels as fast as I could. 

 

I like to eat things that are not good for me. (See above).
To my credit, I did tell Mike he should hide the nutella. And he didn't. So...blame should be at least 50/50 I think.

I cried on Saturday when I didn't get what I wanted. Which was unreasonable, because I wanted a million dollars. 




 
I like to try to fit into things that are too small. Although I think they like it more. But still, its always worth  a shot. Right?

Sometimes I stomp my feet. I cannot seem to stop. I really try, on account of it is a tad embarrassing. 










Seriously. 
Who hasn't. Don't lie.

And you know what. Sometimes I throw my clothes on the floor. Just because. Its somewhat satisfying. I kind of like it. At least until I have to pick them up. 





Anyway. All said, I guess its kind of fun to be two. And perhaps I'll have a little more empathy in the upcoming years of my life that we have toddlers around. I mean, how frustrated would you be if no one could understand you? That's how I felt when I first got to France on my mission. And why on earth wouldn't you want to roll in the leaves and eat books (Emma ate the lily pad out of our panda peek a boo book. bummer). I guess I'm more like my kids than I thought. 

On the other hand. They are watching everything we do all the time, and they are a lot more like us than you might think. They kind of amaze me already, they are so smart! 

I guess that means the average age in our home is fourteen. Mmm. 

But, I hear the munchkins getting up from a nap, and I'm as excited to get to the park as they are so au revoir!
 
(Dear Mike. I'm sorry. I'll grow up. Thank you for being patient with me. I love you. Love, me)

Shark Poo

Okay. I have to warn you. This is true. So I'm just going to tell it like it happened. Its almost Halloween, you've been warned. It might scare you.    
                            

It had been one of those days. The kids were into everything. I mean everything. The fridge, oven, dishwasher, bookshelves, toy box, pantry... you name it, they (particularly Beckett) were in it. I had literally been running around behind them all day just trying to keep it safe and reasonably clean. Remember last Monday, when I told you my house was usually clean? I LIED. What I meant was, I spend all day cleaning, but unless they are asleep, there is evidence of where my munchkins have been.

And then it was bath time. I had to. I didn't want to. They have been real twerps in the tub lately. But because they had found a pack of gum, a pen, and eaten Mac N Cheese I had no choice. Use your imagination, but know that it really was bath time. I have one rule in the tub, no standing. I don't want anyone getting hurt. But here is the thing. There are a million things I could get after them for, especially on a day like this. I hate it when I hear myself saying "no" too much. I think at some point you just have to pick your battles. So I let them stand in the tub. I paid dearly for that.

It all began when Emma's face turned red. I knew what was happening, even though this had never happened before. But there was nothing I could do. Two enormous terds were swimming around chasing Beckett before he knew it. And he was terrified. I mean, he was really scared. SCREAMING his head off. Emma, on the other hand, was trying to stomp on them. Beckett's running and Emma's stomping churned the water such that Emma successfully stomped those buggers into multiple bits. GROSS. 

It is moments like that that frankly I just don't enjoy my job.
I laughed yes, but also I hated it.

A mother's love is an incredible thing. It can weather anything the storms of child rearing can throw it. Hopefully, if you are a parent, you know you are not alone in the plethora of emotions you can feel in any given day. If your kids are being little...stinkers, and there is shark poo swimming in your tub, or food on the floor, or boogers on your clothes, or they sass you, or whatever it is they come up with- you are not alone. And of course you may not love that moment. This does not make us bad parents. On the contrary. I'm pretty sure there would be something wrong with you if you liked poo monsters in your tub. Kids need real parents, to teach them how to handle the...crap life will throw at them. They are basically giving you the opportunity to shine. How nice of them :)  Besides, a little soap and all is well again. Easy cheesey. All in the day of a superparent. 

Nothing a bubble bath can't fix

Good thing kids are so cute. And washable.

October Weekend

Autumn is easily my favorite season.

The view from my couch

I love everything about it. I love when the weather cools off, the vibrant colors, flavors (like pumpkin!), going back to school (or the idea of it since now we are GRADS!!), hot chocolate, boots, scarfs, hot soup and bread bowls...I just love it. Its been fall since we moved here four weeks ago (I can't believe how fast that went by!). Its just a slow, delicious, incredible autumn. Georgia is so lush. Green (my favorite color), and trees everywhere. Don't get me wrong, I love Utah fall, but its about a week long and then its over. Since it rains weekly here, the grass and leaves are still alive. Perfect backdrop to the incredible colors of fall. If autumn was a person, it could be me. Something about this incredible season is just like a fire in my heart. I love it. 

Other things I love: the WEEKEND!! The weekend actually technically started about 5pm on Friday with the story I will share below. But I'm going to start with Saturday. It was the best. Mike and I took the kids to the park, and then got ice cream! It was one of those days so sweet and idealistic I wanted to freeze time. Perfect happiness.

                                                       

Never Say Never!

My Top 5 "NEVERS"

                             Mushrooms. 
Refused to eat them growing up. Boy was I missing out! Turns out when stuffed with cheese and sausage those fungi are amazing. Mmmm. Just wanna stuff them in my mouth. All of them. Right now. 

The Girls: Carley, Jenni, Me, Mom

                                  Mother
 I definitely said I wouldn't become mine. But what did I know as a dumb kid? She is incredible and I am thankful for her every day. I catch myself saying/doing things like her all the time. But like I said, its a good thing. She is amazing. 

Skinny Jeans. I dunno, I just hated them at first. Then I liked them but I was sure they would not look good on my buns. Wrong again. Jenni, my sister, took me shopping for my birthday and bought me a some. They are so dang comfortable!  Now we rock our matching skinnies all the time! 

                               Minivan
This was very high on my NEVER list. In fact Mike and I had this discussion before we even got married. It went something like this: (me) "If you get me pregnant and think I'm gonna haul our kids in a minivan you have another thing coming". I guess that wasn't a discussion. But that's how it went. But the Odyssey we just bought- my idea! Believe it. I'll do a review on it soon in case you are thinking about crossing over. You may never drive anything else again. It'll rock your world.

                                  Mike
Yes. Shocking but true. Mike was on my never list for not one, but two reasons. I NEVER dated anyone younger than me. It just never happened, strictly against my policy. Not that any immature kid ever even caught my eye. That was the first never. The second was that we served in the same mission. Before I left I was vehement about not dating a guy from my mission. But we were best friends. I had no choice, he is that handsome. I was swept off my feet, he rocked my world! Of all my "nevers" he is the best. Not a day goes by that I don't wonder how I got so lucky. Oh man do I love him! Plus, look what we did :)

        The moral of today is: Never Say Never!

IF Its Really True

LDS Mount Timpanogos Temple

So this last weekend was the General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (a bi-annual church wide meeting broadcast around the world). And it was incredible. I've just been thinking about what that really means to me, so whether you are also LDS or whether you aren't, just please stay with me for a few minutes. 

IF this church is for real, and IF what was shared this weekend is really true:

- There is a God, a Heavenly Father, and He loves us. As simple as that seems, imagine it. Someone is actually there, and He truly cares about your happiness, because you are His child.
 
- Jesus Christ is our older brother. Our brother. And I know of nothing else in the world that says "I Love You" like giving your life for someone the way He did for us. 

"I stand at the door and knock"

- Our lives have meaning and purpose. We existed before this life, and death is not the end. If you ever wondered if it even matters how you live your life, or have lost someone you love-just imagine if that is really true. 

- Marriages, and families, are forever. Since death is not the end, you can spend eternity with those you love. It may be hard to imagine with the way marriages are these days. But it is possible.

- Life is hard, it just is. No getting around it. Marriage, loss, being lost...sometimes it is just hard. And we are going to need some help along the way- and He is there for us when we need Him. When we talk to Him (ie, pray), He hears and answers you.

- He is here in unmistakeable presence. That warm, safe, encircled feeling (you absolutely know in your heart when you feel Him) is how He reaches out to you. He has also given us heavenly letters (scripture), through people who lived both long ago and today. Testimony that will remind you He is there, and what you can do to find peace, or happiness, or direction in your life.

The First Presidency of the Church today

    What I really, really wanted to say today is this: I believe it. I really believe I am loved, and that my prayers are heard. I believe God cares how happy I am, and that He is by my side on the days I don't know how I will make it. I believe that there is more that this life, and that gives me incredible peace during times of loss and trial. I believe everything that was shared this weekend, because I believe that God speaks to us through His prophet- just has He has since the beginning. I know word like prophet, and scriptures are outdated. Sure. But here is the thing. I have prayed, and I got answers. I have read the scriptures, and I know for myself that I am happier when I do. IF you want to know if its really true, you can. Because He is there, and He does love you, and He will answer you.

    I have been so eager to share a few of the things I felt this weekend. This is something so dear to my heart. Often with dear things we protect them, keep them close. But for those moments when you may feel alone, or lost, or frustrated, or even just curious, I want to share with you where I looked and found my happiness, my strength, my faith. Because if it's really true, imagine how it would change your life.

It'll Grow Back- And Other Disasters

    It all started last night. Which I realize was Sunday, but it was all in preparation for Monday, so basically it began the Monday curse. 

    I have been cutting Mike's hair since we got married. At first it was pretty obvious that it was not professionally done, but my sister is a fabulous beautician and she taught me well. With time I have greatly improved. In fact, its pretty good if I do say so myself. And I do. I've NEVER really made a mistake. Notice the past tense.
  
    Mike works in PR (Public Relations), specifically Financial PR. Which is serious business. Bankers, investors etc. You know, the kind of people that don't mess around, which is good because they handle money. Well last night I was cleaning up his haircut so that it would look amazing since he had a new client meeting today. I carefully set out the clippers and each attachment that I would use. And wouldn't you know it I took three huge swipes across the top of his head before I noticed I was using the smallest attachment. There was no going back. 

    Of course I did what I had to to. I burst into tears. In all honesty, part of that was to cover the laughter that bubbled up when I realized what I had done and saw the panic in Mike's eyes. Why this was funny to me I have no idea. Can't explain it. I was also simultaneously embarrassed and really sad. Mike of course told me he had really been wanting a short cut and assured me that this was just fine. I have pretended to screw up before, and he never thought it was funny then. Nevertheless, my awesome husband looks amazing and was a great sport...I just hope he doesn't get in trouble. If he does, I have no reservations bursting into tears for any number of supervisors and explaining the situation. The situation being that Mondays are cursed. 

Hand over fist eater!

    Tonight we are going to meet to new friends for dinner. A friend of ours has family out here that invited us for dinner and FHE (I'll explain about this later, but it means family home evening). All we need to do is show up and bring dessert. That. Is. All.

    So I waited to get the kids dressed until 3:30PM. THREE THIRTY so that they couldn't possibly get that dirty before we leave. Right? Nope, they are a mess. While they were eating noodles for lunch, usually one of their cleaner meals, I was making cookies for dessert. Here is how that went down:

Finally dressed and ready...

    Emma starts gagging on a noodle. This is not unusual, she gags on everything, and inevitably it leads to throwing up. As I hear this the fire alarm goes off. The cookies have only been in for 5 of the 8-9 minutes called for but when I open the oven black smoke billows out. Now both kids are coughing, the alarm is piercing, and Emma starts to puke. I climb up on a chair to turn off the alarm and can't get the &%($% thing to stop. Now Beckett is crying, undoes his lapbelt and stands up in his chair. 

    It takes about 10 minutes to clear the smoke, wash away Emma's puke, save Beckett's life, and get the alarm off. Have I mentioned that I hate Monday?

MMMM. Yum Right?

    As I survey the messy kitchen, burnt cookies (despite turning the oven down to 275 the cookies burned again after 2 MIN, its like it got hotter), and dirty kids I groan inside. There are moments I want to stop time and enjoy these moments forever. There are other times, like Mondays, that I just wanna yell. 

    Well. I hope Mike doesn't get caught in traffic tonight. There is no time for another try at dessert so he is going to have to pick something up on his way. I really can cook. And my house is usually clean. And my kids are darling. Just not when people come to visit. Or invite us to dinner. Or skype with us. Oh well right? It's Mondays fault.
 

What Men Know That We Don't

Men, I have decided after many years of up close and personal observation and study, are not the same as women. I've gone back and forth, but this time I'm really sure. We are completely different. And from these differences I have learned something. A secret of  their species that for some reason women have not figured out. And I'm going to share it with you.

   Mike and I have been married for 4 1/2 years. And I would say we are extremely compatible. You know, all the mushy stuff is there: still holding hands, finishing each others sentences, texting a million times per day...and while the kids have radically changed the more intimate aspects of our relationship at least we have some fabulous memories to get us through when things get busy :) But, I digress.

   The point is this. We are super close. But there is this one thing that just kind of... Ladies, have you ever asked your man "what are you thinking" and they say "nothing"? I do that all the time. When we were dating and I would ask him, of course he always said something like "I'm thinking about you", or "I'm thinking about how hot you are", which is what I wanted to hear so that was the end of that. But I have this insatiable curiosity and I love to talk so I'm always asking Mike what he thinks. And while often it is me, or the kids, or sports (in no particular order), or fantasy football, or baseball...after 5 years I figure I'm really about to breakthrough into the mind of a man. Which would be earthshaking right? To really know what is going on in there. 
    
    But here is the thing. I don't think anything is going on, at least not all the time. Not that they aren't super intelligent. In fact, Mike is one of the most thoughtful, smart, intellectual people I have ever met. Nevertheless, sometimes he really isn't thinking about anything!

    How can this be? That's like a freakin vacuum of the mind. I have simply never been able to understand that. When Mike, or any other guy ever said "nothing" I assumed it was a lie. Like a cover up to some really interesting, personal, secret thing. And since I love a good mystery of course I have always wanted to know what it is. IT'S ACTUALLY NOTHING! 

    At 4 in the morning, after a year and a half of sleep deprivation compounded by the sleeplessness that accompanies sick babies, I got it. I was rocking Emma and realized I was awake- and nothing was going through my mind. No to do list, no ideas, no internal dialogues (I really hope I'm not the only woman out there that has entire conversations, including hypothetical variables, that may or may not ever actually take place), no shopping list, dinner idea, pinterest search, or scheme of any sort. Girls, it was blissful! 

    Maybe men are natures exemplary meditators. Its like a vacation. Relaxation, mental nap time. I'm pretty sure we girls don't do this enough... or ever. But I think we should. We deserve it! In fact, I think we NEED it! How men figured this out and we didn't I will never know, despite the fact that I've been trying to...oh wait. THAT is exactly why. But just because it doesn't come naturally doesn't mean anything. My hair isn't natural, that never stopped me. Point is, we can do this. And I think we'd enjoy it! I think our husbands would enjoy it! So CHEERS!

PS- My friend commented and gave me this link and I had to share it! Definitely funny- and true! 
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIxVY9k7EC4&feature=related