Ice Fishing

These are my brothers. I have three, and they are seriously the best. They are all rugged, tough, fearless men. And I love them so much. Since these are the boys I grew up with, when I think of "ice fishing" I think of freezing (literally) lakes, drilling a hole, and remaining in this frigid condition for hours. Best case scenario, you get a fish. That's best case scenario. I love my brothers, and I have so many fond memories of things we did growing up, but I cannot honestly say that I ever loved this particular adventure. Of course I may have said I did to try to be the cool sister, but no, in all honesty it was just too cold. And all you get is a fish. And a cold, like the kind that makes your nose run. Such a bummer. Now I'm all grown up, and when I want fish, I just brave the frozen section of Costco or Walmart and buy some. I mean, I still get goosebumps but they don't last very long so its all good.

 








Anyway, that is what I used to think of.  Lately, something new comes to mind. I'm not sure how it all started, but Mike started telling Beckett that the ice chips in his glass were "ice fishies". See below:

Listening to the fishies

Saying "hi" to his ice buddies

Now when I think of ice-fishing, I picture Beckett's little hand fishing around in our glasses trying to "catch a fish". And how he listens intently to hear them say hi. I am crazy about my husband, who the kids absolutely adore. How could they not? He invented ice-fishies. And I can't stop laughing at the delight on Beckett's face at this game. And me and Emma? We are eating (have I mentioned that while she may look like Mike, she is all me), warm, well fed, and loving these boys of ours. If my kids are lucky, their awesome uncles will see to it that they have a proper ice-fishing experience. As for me, I won't trade the memories I have with my brothers for anything. But this new memory will be a treasured addition to my collection of "ice fishing" memories.

Realizing how cold his fish is

How much he loves his ice-fishies!

All for a boy...

People will do a lot of things for love. Selfless, brave, incredible things. Its part of what makes love so wonderful, at least I think so. If it was easy, free, effortless... it would seem trivial and unimpressive.

Some of you know, and some of you don't, but I'm actually a registered nurse. And I worked dang hard for that! In fact, I had already been to school but after I came home from my mission I felt distinctly prompted to go back. I could have gone on for a higher degree. I could have worked more, heavens knows we could have used the money with both Mike & I in school. Any of those things would have made more sense.

All of that in consideration, I went after a nursing degree.

The prerequisite semester was one we now non-affectionately refer to as "the semester from hell". Actually, we always called it that. It was pretty rough, on Mike too. I studied all the time. I took algebra, microbiology, chemistry, anatomy, and a psych class. I probably would have died of anxiety & stress had I not taken all of these classes with my sister and bff, Jenni. Seriously. Want to know something crazy? In my anatomy class I literally got failing scores, multiple times. I am not exaggerating, like 60% on exams. And because it was graded on a curve, I got an A in the class (I always felt bad for all the "curvers" in the class, their scores must have been SO dismal). It was pretty stressful. But knowing that I made the right choice kept me going. I knew I was supposed to be a nurse.

Because of the inflexibility of the combined academic/clinical schedule,  it was hard to find an accommodating job. I had a choice of two jobs that I interviewed for, and took on with less pay. I wasn't sure at the time why, but its what I felt good about.

At the hospital

Right before graduation in 2011 I found out about Beckett. That's a story for another day, but had I not been in the nursing program I would not have been working where I worked. And had I not been there, I would not have found out about my son.
Mike & I were trying to get pregnant. We weren't looking into adoption. But the minute I heard about our birth mom looking for a family I knew he was ours. And as soon as I told Mike that night, he knew it too. And a few short months later, he was in my arms.

One week old

6 months big

I have not worked a single day since he was born. I transferred my license to Georgia, all in the hopes of working someday. But now that I am home with my Beckett & Emma, I wouldn't leave them for anything.
So why did I spend three years of madness going to school? Well, if I hadn't I would have missed out on the little boy with blond curls and big blue eyes. He is my son. I know it. He knows it. Our sweet, wonderful birth mom knows it. This is just how he had to come. Lucky for him too, he got way better skin than Mike or I could have ever hoped to give him. Sorry Emma.

In the end, it was all for a boy. My boy. And I would do it all again and more to have him in my life.

Our weekend together in Utah last month

When it rains

You know the expression "when it rains, it pours"? 

Yes. It does.

Most of the time I love the rain. BUT. Sometimes I am surprised that I get wet, sometimes I am angry. But its rain. Its just water. And that is WHAT RAIN IS. And its a good thing. Why do I sometimes feel like rain, which is just lifesaving water, is out to get me? Usually because I am in a hurry, and I have plans of my own. And I'm feeling inflexible. But there are worse things that could be coming down on me. 
I just have to remember, its just rain. And while it may change my plans, it is always heaven sent.
It's beautiful. It's cleansing. Its renewal.
It's just rain.

Overreacting

Overreacting. At unexpected times, and sometimes for no reason.

Please tell me I am not the only one who does this.

I don't know if its just that my hormones never went back to normal after being pregnant or what...well... Actually. Anyone who knows me, knows better. Its probably that my hormones never went back to normal after they tried to make me a woman at age 12! That seems to be about when it all began. The only logical explanation is hormones. These kind of reactions cannot be normal. Right?

For example. Some people (myself included) laugh until they cry. And some might consider that an overreaction. If only. Sometimes I laugh so hard, I actually cry. Like sob, real tears. I cannot explain why. I have no idea. It is not premeditated, or bubbling beneath the surface. So the other night, Mike and I were talking in bed. And I started thinking about something that made me laugh. Mike laughed too, until I started to laugh uncontrollably. This always makes him nervous, as approximately once a year I really lose it. The odds are I'm just laughing, but he can never be sure.

And then I started to cry. Its the weirdest thing. I was soooo sad. I'm not sure I was thinking about anything in-particular. The first time this happened, Mike tried to pat my head. Yes, you read that right. Pat. My. Head. He is much much wiser now. Now he just holds me and tries not to let me see him laugh (as this always makes it worse).

Other overreactions have included eating things in mass quantities,what some would call an extravagant and ridiculous amount of exclamations, question marks, caps, and faces in my text messages, and lying on the floor.

Seriously.

There has to be a way to get past this right?

OR. Maybe it is normal. Sometimes I just need a good cry. Sometimes life feels intense, and I am just responding accordingly. There are some really fantastic overreactions. Like dance parties, singing out loud, laughing, and saying screaming with joy. So its not all bad.

I still just can't decide if its normal. Perhaps only time will tell. Who knows.

 

Christmas Kickoff

First- a quick catch up

 Thanksgiving was awesome. 

We got four straight days with Mike and we savored every single one.

The weather was beautiful, and we had a fabulous feast. It was hard to catch any of it in pictures because we were too busy enjoying it!

While it may have been hard to stop and take a picture, it was more than memorable. Family time like this is a rare and precious thing and I love it more than anything. 

There are little moments so dear to my heart I can't even find words for them.

 Like when I catch Mike reading to our munchkins.

It means the world to me. 

 

 AND NOW, ON TO THE CHRISTMAS FESTIVITIES!

Saturday, December 1 began with the Lilburn Christmas Parade. We had no idea there was such a thing until about an hour before, and fortunately a good friend let us in on the excitement! Its the first time we had ever taken the kids to a parade, and they absolutely loved it! It was the perfect way to kick off the day.

That was followed by naps for all, except for Mike (who was busy watching football). Ahhh. :)

Then I made cookies. I'm not usually a cookie girl, but I really wanted snickerdoodle dough. And by the way it was delicious! The cookies were not. I am sure its our oven. Seriously. We haven't had a single batch of cookies turn out since we moved here, and we have made several attempts. Mike and are both pretty good in the kitchen. It has to be the oven.

Then we set up our Christmas tree, stockings, and decor. Beckett and Emma were very helpful, and are especially enthralled by the lights. We did select "random twinkling lights", and I can now officially verify that they are surprising, and twinkly. I think we made the right choice. 

A football game, hamburgers & fries were next. Every time we yell "touchdown" Beckett and Emma throw their arms in the air! Its pretty much my favorite part of the game... I am still relatively new to football so Mike is teaching me everything he knows. And I'll tell you what, he knows a LOT. Whew. It was actually a great game.

Now, I know some of you already have your shopping done, and the house decked the day after Thanksgiving. And that is just so cool. Its actually one of my goals for next year, to be better at Christmas/Holidays. But as for this year, for us, we are already on a roll- and its been fun!

First suckers- YUM (also VERY messy :)

Parade necklace

Watching puppies with Dad

So sunny! We started with jackets, but it was just so warm!

Lilburn at its finest :)

Avoiding the wet wipe so as to enjoy this sucker all day....

The face of resistance

Toddler Anatomy

There are lots of things nobody tells you about being a parent. 

Off the top of my head there are a few things that come right to the forefront. For example, what kinds of things should you have on hand when you bring home a new baby? Did anybody mention "Shout"? Because stain remover is a must. I mean, have it in stock before you walk through the door. Or bibs, somebody forgot to mention that even this new faux velcro will wreak havoc on your no-show socks and undies. Ahhhh! And its not even real Velcro (seriously, when it comes to bibs get the ones with snaps. so worth it).

Not that it really matters, you live and learn. But I have been compiling a list of things I wish I had known so that when we have another one I'm ready. Its amazing how quickly you forget. Of course, there is that sleep deprivation factor... 

But anyway, back to the matter at hand. Anatomy. Don't be fooled by my mommyness. I'm a nurse. I may whip out some technical terms, so brace yourself. 

B is really into naming things lately. Head to toe, wall to wall, he wants to know what everything is. Its been really fun, and of course sometimes I make stuff up. It never really mattered, until now. Now when I say something incorrect he is listening, and remembering. For example, I called his belly button his "beep-beep", and every time he or I touched it I would make a crazy face and honk. Now if I call it anything other than "beep-beep" he says no and adamantly shakes his head. He will continue to repeat "that" and point at his adorable little innie until I honk and get silly. 

Baby parts are just cuter than adult parts. I say that as a fact and a statement. I hate feet, but oh man I snack on chubby little toes every chance I get around here! Need to wipe a bottom? No problem because they are tiny and soft and super cute too!

Because they are cuter and somehow more innocent, I cannot bring myself to say "penis" when B explores his southern attachment. What a gross word. Seriously. It's as bad as the female vagina. EWWWWW! 

Mike and I have discussed this. And we came up with nothing. We both voted no on: junk, weener, dingy, and every other crude term out there. I think my mom used "pee-pee" for my brothers, and that is probably my preference. But Mike claims that somehow that makes "it" sound small- although I am pretty sure size is not an issue for those who poop their pants. Just my opinion though. 

Are we really going to be "that" family? I babysat for a doctor's family when I was younger. While normal kids were pooping, these children had "BM's". (I will be honest, at first I had no idea what a BM was, or that that meant "take me to the bathroom fast"!) They didn't have bellies, they had an abdomen. Of course I know about about breasts, and derrieres, and navels. But we prefer boobies, and bums, and beep-beeps. There is also "that" other family, the one with the super crude kids. Sometimes its cute the first time a kids says something crazy, but I just don't find dirty mouth kids adorable. We want to be somewhere in the middle. Again, just our opinion. To each their own. 

What is really nuts about all this is how much responsibility you have as a parent. The other day Emma and I were finishing off the batter from a bowl of brownies and I licked my finger. Very deliberately, and with nothing on her finger, Emma licked her finger too. We locked eyes. I touched my nose, she did the same. And it hit me, she is watching my every move. How I react when I am mad, or tired, or happy. They hear all the words I say, even the ones I shouldn't be saying at all. 

Raising happy, healthy kids is serious business. Fun, exciting, sometimes tedious, but it is no joke. Its pushing me to be a better person, in every way. From eating fresh fruits and veggies every day so that they will, to watching my tongue, I am learning to be better and hoping they will turn out alright.

Like I said, no one can really prepare you to be a parent. But a safe bet is to start with yourself, hope all you have that is good, and kind, and wonderful will rub off. So it makes sense that the better you are the more good will rub off, right? Have I mentioned lately how much I love being a mom? It is literally the best1 I can honestly say I am happiest when I am with Mike and our kids. I love it!

May you all have the most thankful of turkey days, and feast until you are pleasantly (not overly) full (that is our goal). Happy turkey, sweet potato, and pumpkin festivities to you all! And as busy as this season gets, may you still find time to serve. I am so very thankful for all of you who have lifted my spirits with your endless kindness, and I hope I can pass it on so someone who needs it as much as I did. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!