Adoption Part 1: How it all began

 *Let me start by saying, I know there are those whose experiences with infertility/adoption were far more than what Mike & I have gone through. This is just our story, condensed (for privacy & brevity), and as we lived it.*

    I have always wanted to be a mother. My family means more to me than anything, and I have always been excited to have a family of my own. Then I met Mike. He is my everything, and one of my favorite things about him is that I knew he would be a great dad. Starting a family with him became my life's dream, my most precious ambition.

   Our plan wasn't to have kids right away. But fortunately, Heavenly Father had a way better plan for us than I could ever have imagined. And about sixish months into our marriage we felt prompted to start trying for a little one. In fact, we both knew we were going to have a daughter. Emma. Thinking about her kept me going when it got hard.

    And it did get hard. Every 28 days I got my hopes up. I tracked everything. Every month in my planner I put the due date our baby would have if she came that month. But she didn't come. We tried everything we could afford, and finally after a few years decided to take a break. The strain and pressure was getting to us.

    Mike & I decided to take our struggle to the Temple, hoping to find hope and answers (to learn more about that, click here). In the course of our discussion Mike mentioned adoption. We had always talked about adopting, but way down the road. From what we had looked into, we were years down on the waiting list and it was way out of our price range. So, it was a nice thought, but I was still trying to figure out how to get pregnant.

    A few days later I had a slow day at work. I ended up talking to my supervisor in her office. She had been down the rocky road of infertility without success. She and her husband had a daughter they had adopted, and she shared her experience with me. Then she told me she knew of someone who needed a home for her baby.

   There are only a few times in my life my heart has lit on fire like it did in that moment. I knew. I absolutely knew. I got the number for the birth-mother's cousin, and the name of a social worker and lawyer. That night I talked to Mike. We knew we were going to have a baby.

    Talking to our birth-mothers cousin was nerve racking at first. I had no idea how to go about this. I wanted her to trust me, like me, and recommend me as a potential mother. We put a blog together with pictures and a letter to the birth-mother to help her get to know us. All my fears were pushed aside as she told me about this baby. A boy. I cried. Mike cried. I could not contain my love for this child. It was as real and powerful as any love ever could be.

    By the end of that week we had set everything in place with our social worker and lawyer. Now we were just counting down the days to meet our birth mother, and son.