The Imperfect Parent

   Parenting is so hard. One of my favorite things about being a mom is how much it has pushed and challenged me. I love talking to other mom's about our kids! Often I am impressed by their ideas, their hard work. I think it is so cute how hard we try to be perfect. Its really sweet. I'm not being sarcastic, I really do think that. And I totally applaud the efforts of dedicated parents. Since I have a pretty harsh intolerance of abusive or neglectful parenting/care-giving, of course I believe it is always of the utmost
 priority to continually strive to improve as parents.

   That said. Inside, I laugh. How often I have caught myself and others agonizing over should-have, could-have's. There is no such thing as the perfect parent. And IF by some miracle you are a perfect parent (trust me, you are not), can you imagine how hard that would be for your kids??

   Let me preface my thoughts today with the following. There is no ideal time to blog. I am always a bit tired, and always have a mile long "to do" list. But sometimes I just get the urge to write, and so I do. By no means do I claim to be at my most articulate at this, or any other time. Sigh. So take my opinion with a good dose of humor and salt and all should go well.

    Moving on. What I mean is this: your kids (as much as you love them) are not perfect. And it is frightening to realize how much they are watching your every move. I think a lot of people are terrified by this, and of course at times I too am flabbergasted. HOWEVER, how wonderful for them that you are imperfect. Because they have the awesome opportunity to watch you screw up and blow it on a daily basis- and if they are really lucky, they will have the opportunity to watch you fix it. And there is no greater teacher than example. (Believe me, they certainly could give a hoot about what you say, no matter how wise or eloquent!)

    Subsequently, when your kids inevitably make mistakes they will know how to handle it. They will know how to say "I'm sorry, I did the wrong thing". I have to apologize pretty often, and to be honest I think I am a pretty dang amazing mom. My kids know how to clean up a mess. They know how to say sorry and give a hug when they blow it. I'm really proud of them for not letting me screw them up. But lets be honest, its not like they were born that way. As an imperfect parent myself, they have watched me fix my mistakes hundreds of times by now!

    I have one other point to make in my case for the imperfect parent. I think my kids are the most adorable, funny, smart, entertaining kids in the whole wide world. I truly do. And if you are a parent, you probably bristle as you think, "cute, sure. but my kids are so much cuter..." and good for you. Every kids deserves parents who think the world of them. And I say the following as a lover of children, no one else thinks your kids are as cute as you do. Which leads me to this. When your fabulous, adorable children push you to the absolute brink of your sanity and you wish for greater patience and kindness remember this. No body thinks your kids are as cute as you do. The world will be much harsher to your tender children, it is better that you are the one to tell them its really annoying when they_____.  Kids do thoughtless  selfish, annoying things (to name a few)! Its a fact. So please, be the one to tell them. If you don't, someone else will (or at the very least your child will be the subject of disapproving glares and conversation).

    To summarize my case of the imperfect parent. 1)There are no perfect parents. But despite what we often think, this is a blessing to our kids. 2) Our kids are not perfect, so it is in their best interest to have up close and real examples from those they love most teaching them that it is okay to make mistakes, and how to fix them. I guess I just really believe that mistakes are part of life, yours as well as your little ones. So work hard, be the best parent you can. But at the end of the day, its not about being perfect. Also at the end of the day, eat ice cream. That's what I'm going to do right now. Not because it makes me a better parent, just because it tastes good and I like it. :)
  Happy Weekend!